Chapter 44: 44
Jill Malik P.O.V
Amari wasn't part of the plan. When I decided to go to Jordan, I didn't knew that I was pregnant.
After two months, I suddenly got really sick and I started to vomit constantly. I couldn't eat, because
everytime I did it immediately came out again. The idea of me being pregnant didn't even crossed my
mind, because I thought that I was getting really sick because of all the things that had happened.
Irina on the other hand wasn't really sure about that. She bought a pregnancy test for me and after a lot
of 'you should do it' I finally decided that maybe she was right. In the end, she was afterall. After visiting
the doctor I heard that I was already three and a half months pregnant. The doctor told me that if it
wasn't about all the stress lately, I wouldn't even become sick.
Ethan suggested that I had to tell Flynn about it, but that time I was still so mad at him. I didn't forgave
him yet and I didn't wanted to tell him about it, because that meant that he would know where I was.
Ethan tried to convince me to call or text Flynn, but I was so stubborn that I just didn't do it. I told him
that I would do it after she was born. "I'll be ready to face him then." was my excuse.
When Amari was born, Ethan and Irina told me again to send a picture of her to Flynn. I was planning
on doing it, but things got really hectic. Amari suddenly got sick and had to spend a week in the
hospital, that I totally forgot about the picture.
And now, three years later Flynn still has no clue that he's a father.
"Mommy, where's dad?" Amari walked into my room while I was packing. I smiled at her and took her
on my lap.
"He's in New York, babygirl."
"Is that far?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes. I played with her hair and nodded. "Yes, far far away."
Having Amari in my life changed me. She was my little princess. My little ray of sunshine. Her smile
and chattering brightened up my day.
"But why is he not here?" she asked innocently. I let out a sigh and kissed her forehead. "You'll see him
in a couple of days, okay. Now, go to aunt Irina and help her with the garden." Amari jumped out of my
lap and ran out of my room.
I let out a sigh as I watch her leave. At moments like these I regret that I have never told Flynn about
her. I really wanted him to see her grow up and hear her say first words. Sometimes I questioned
myself if I'm the one at fault here. Sometimes I wished I would just hear him out instead of run away.
But now there's no turning back. I already did it and it hurts.1
It hurts every day.
Seeing my daughter, who's an exact replica of him except for her hair, growing up brought memories
back every time I looked at her. His smile, his laughter, and the way he looked at me in the morning. So
loving and kind. It was like I was his world, his universe.
But god, how was I wrong.
I thought fairytales exist. I thought I was the princess and he my prince charming. I thought our
wedding was my happily ever after.
Fairytales don't exist.
This is reality and here, in this cruel world, there's no happily ever after. 2
"Mommy, are we going to see dad soon?" Amari asked as she tugged on my hand. I held Amari's hand
firmly as I looked out for my driver. A couple hours ago I arrived in New York, Ethan arranged a driver
for me to drive me around in New York.
"Yes baby girl. But...Oh there he is. Our driver is here, princess. You'll see dad soon okay?" I looked at
the black sleek car that stopped right in front of me. The door opened and a bald man stepped out.
"Miss Malik?" He asked, removing his shades revealing hazel-green eyes. "I'm Todd Collin, you're
"Hi Todd, Nice to meet you." I greeted the big headed bald man with hazel green eyes. He didn't look
older than fifty. I wished I had other ways to describe him, but at this moment this was the only
description I could come up with. He wore a black suit, the ones personal drivers wear, and he had
white gloves on.
I ushered Amari inside and sat down next to her. Todd placed all my suitcases in the trunk and then
went back to the passenger seat.
"Do you know the address to the apartment?" I asked when he started the car. He looked through the
rear view mirror and nodded his head.
"Yes, I got all the information." With that he started driving.
Amari looked out of the window and then looked back at me. Her eyes sparkled. "It's so beautiful,
mommy." She pressed her nose against the window to see all the skyscrapers passing by. "D'you lived
here?" She asked in her cute toddler voice.
I found it so cute that she could already talk at the age of two and a half. This year she's turning three
and she could easily pick up words and phrases. I only need to say something once and the next thing
I know she's the one using them.
I took her on my lap and nuzzled my nose in her hair. "I lived here with your dad three years ago."
"Is three years alot?" She asked and then hold three fingers up. "This is three. Is it a lot, mommy?
D'you miss dad?"
"I miss dad everyday, princess. As much as you miss him." I whispered softly as I stared outside the
window. Familiar places where passing by.
Suddenly my chest tightened. Oh god, Ximena.
I haven't talked to Ximena in three years. I had sent my letter of resignation a couple of hours before I
left New York, three years ago. Since then, I haven't heard anything about her. I haven't even contacted
I was still in touch with Reina and Luca though. Reina was expecting a baby girl at the end of this year.
At this moment she was craving all kinds of food and poor Luca has to deal with mood swings every
second of the day. One moment Reina is all happy and chattery and the next she was bawling her eyes
out over some random thing.
"But mommy---," Amari's voice woke me up from my thoughts. She was still not done with interrogating
me. "Why'id dad never visit me?"
"Baby Girl, that's because mommy is a meanie."
She immediately looked up at me with her big blue eyes. "No you're not."
I chuckled lightly, but then Amari pointed at something outside. "Cake! Mommy, cake. I want cake!"
I looked outside and saw Eclair Bakery pass by. "Do you want cake, princess?" She eagerly nodded
her head. I knew she loved cake, all sorts of cakes. Cupcakes, red velvet, chocolate cake, name it and
she will eat it for you.
"Todd, Can you please turn around and stop at Eclair bakery?" I called. Todd turned his head around
and nodded. "Of course, Miss Malik."
"Mommy are w'going to get cake?" Amari asked excitedly. I nodded my head and she immediately
hugged me tightly. "Thank you mommy!" she squealed.
I giggled and kissed her cheeks. "Everything for you princess, everything."
The car stopped at Eclair bakery and Amari and I stepped out. We stepped in the shop and Amari
immediately pointed at her favorites. "I want that mommy and that one!" She pointed at the
Cheesecake eclair and Macarons.
I chuckled and walked towards the nice lady behind the counter. "Hi, can I please have two
Cheesecake eclair and a box of Macarons."
She smiled kindly at me. "Sure, that will be $17 dollars."
I pulled out my credit card and handed it to her. Moment later, she returned back with my deserts and
credit card. "Enjoy."
I smiled at her and grabbed Amari by her hand. "Come on, princess. I already bought cake. It's for after
She nodded her head and hopped happily next to me. I opened the door to exit the shop and my soul
almost left my body.
Right in front of me, a pair of bright blue eyes was staring at me in shock. The one person I haven't
seen in three years.